Ready for the River!!

I went to the doctor this morning and had an ultrasound. Apparently I now have cysts. Of course the worst thoughts were going through my head but my favorite nurse S calmed me down. She said they were just leftover follicles with yucky stuff in them from my stimulation. She didn't seem worried about them so I am not going to be either. She said they were decreasing in size and that they would continue to do so with the birth control. I still have 6 more days of bcp's so hopefully they will be gone by the time I have my next ultrasound in another couple of weeks.

On to more fun things. We got to see some of our really good friends this weekend. We always have so much fun when we are with them.Natalie, Rebecca (you may recognize her, she was one of my bridesmaids) and Me
LOVE these girls!!!

Terry, Gibio, and RJ
Terry and Gibio have know each other since their Corsicana days and they all 3 played soccer together at SFA. Plus we all lived at the same apartment complex in Nac.

All of us. We ALL went to my favorite school SFA. Ax'em!!!

We are headed to the River on Sunday to spend my 30th birthday (YIKES!!) with lots of relaxation. I'm sure I will be posting plenty of pictures from that trip.

Happenings....

Let's see..... alot has happened over the past week. First off Monday was very difficult for me because it would have been the day we took our pregnancy blood test. I found myself in the worst mood and not even taking a shower until 4 in the afternoon. I kept telling myself to stop thinking about it but I couldn't help it. After Terry got home I was able to get in a better mood. Having him home made me feel better. So glad he didn't have soccer this week.

Tuesday morning I got a phone call from the lead counselor at the "real" high school in my district. As soon as she told me who she was I knew exactly why she was calling. She was calling to offer me a job at that campus. I had gotten wind that this may happen and had already given it some thought. Of course when I first "heard" about it a couple of weeks ago I immediately thought NO WAY am I leaving these kids. Then after she called and it became real I began to really think about it. Weighing pros and cons and what was really keeping me at my school. I realized that the ONLY thing that was truly holding me back was the kiddos. I love all the counselors at the other campus. They have all been a great help to me this year. There are so many more oppurtunities for me at the "real" h.s. AND this huge 5A high school was recruiting me to their campus with NO interview, major confidence booster. Soooo last night I did not sleep at all. I was literally awake when Terry's alarm went off this morning. I thought about it all night and began to get really excited about this possibility. I had decided that I would make a decision by today so I was ready to commit to the move. THEN this morning I get a phone call from one of the other counselors, who was my mentor this year- love her, and she tells me she "heard" that this counselor backed out of her move to the neighboring district and was no longer leaving. WHAT!!!!! I stayed up all night with this and now it is off the table. So I called the lead counselor and told her that if the job was still available I would like to commit. She acted like she knew nothing of what I had been told earlier. (She was also on vacation in Arkansas, so the principal hadn't called her.) She was so excited. She called the principal to tell her that I was going to do it and sure enough it was no longer an option. I am so disappointed, but I do know that everything happens for a reason. Things are going to be so different at my campus this next year because we have a new principal and assistant principal. I lost my ally in all of that. Now don't get me wrong, I really do LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the kids I work with at the alternative school. I was just really excited about this opportunity to grow as a counselor and learn new things. Oh well, I'm not giving up on it completely, there's always a chance she may end up finding another job. I know God has a plan for me so I guess I will just wait and see what that is....

This past couple of months have been a roller coaster ride of emotions and I see no end. And all the hormones that have been running through my body.......NOT HELPING. Sometimes I feel like a crazy person. And I have hot flashes to look forward to with my new shots. LOVELY!! My grandparents called yesterday to let me know about those. My papa is on Lupron for his prostate cancer so he was giving me fair warning. They thought it was funny that we were going to be on the same medicine for two TOTALLY different things. Papa said he hoped he didn't get pregnant. He's so funny, that guy can always make you laugh. Thank goodness for that.This is Papa and I on his 80th birthday. We will be the menopausal family members together for a few weeks.

Astros

Friday night Dad got 4 free tickets to the Astros game. Tim had tickets with a friend of his but made his way down to our AWESOME seats. We were on row 18 behind the Astros dugout. Courtney was hilarious as always. When she was getting ready for the game she wanted to know if she should wear her DYNAMO shirt because she didn't have an Astros shirt and she didn't have any money to buy one. Of course Uncle Terry was proud of that statement.....about the DYNAMO shirt. Then on the car ride down there as she was applying lipgloss for the 3rd or 4th time and putting on her stick-on earrings she said "I am getting pretty for the Astros." But the funniest thing she said to me as I was giving her a piggy-back ride to the bathroom "I'm sorry but you are getting to heavy and I'm going to have to put you down." I started cracking up and said, "But I'm carrying you, how am I too heavy." She said, "I have got to put you down" as she slid off of my back. That girl is always fun to be around. You NEVER know what is going to come out of her mouth. Here are some pictures from the game.

Courtney and her PaPa

Courtney and Auntie Em

Courtney wanted to take a picture of PaPa. She did a good job. She is taking after her Auntie Em.

Courtney and her daddy. I couldn't get them to cooperate at the same time so this is as good as it got.

We had a great time and I'm glad Dad invited us along. Now we have to get him to a DYNAMO game!!!!!!

As far as things with IVF....... I am back on birth control and will begin shots again on July 1st. The medicine is called Lupron and it will put my ovaries to sleep so they won't produce any eggs. It will actually put me in a state of menopause from what I understand. Sounds crazy I know. They will do the transfer on either July 23 or 24th. We are still moving along, praying that no other roadblocks get in the way. Other than that I am enjoying having some time off. This is the first summer I've had in 2 years because of grad school, so I'm loving it!!!

Fresh Cycle

So I found out today a little bit about where we are going from here. I will restart birth control pills on Wednesday. This will allow my body to "start over" and allow everything to be "fresh". Those are my words and not the words of the medical professionals. I will be on BCP's for about 3 weeks and then will begin (i think) only one shot and some good ole estrogen. The estrogen will not be used with the same drugs as before as they will not be stimulating my ovaries, so this should all be fine. My ovaries are feeling much better. I am thinking they have gone down, I can't feel them from the outside anymore. My fluid has all gone away too, as far as I can tell. YEA....prayers answered. As of now (but always subject to change, as we have found out) our target week is July 23. So it looks like I will be turning 30 without being pregnant but hopefully that will change soon after. We have 10 healthy embryos, which I have found out by talking to others and reading other blogs, is quite amazing. Apparently people don't normally have that many healthy ones. For us, I would say that is a good sign. I should get my "calendar of events" tomorrow from the IVF nurse and I will be able to let ya'll know a little better of a timeline. SOOOOOOOO..........HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!

BTW, Thank you so much to our family and friends who have left us such sweet and thoughtful comments. It means so much to us to know that we have such an awesome support system!!!! Even if I haven't talked to you personally about this situation, just reading that you are thinking and praying for us gives us that little extra bit of peace. We love and appreciate you all so much!!!!

Home Sweet Home

As some of you may know by now, I did end up in the hospital. Tuesday I was so miserable I couldn't stand myself. My stomach was HUGE and I was having a hard time taking deep breaths. I called the doctor, relayed my symptoms and she wanted to see me at 7 Wednesday morning. At about 6:15 Wednesday morning our cell phones started ringing and it was Dr. S. She was checking to see if my stomach had gone down any and if I felt better. I told her no and she sent me straight to the hospital. We checked in at about 7:15, I was somewhat dehydrated strangely enough. They had a hard time finding a vein to put in my IV and draw blood. Strange for me because they can always get blood easily. Anyway I had an ultrasound which of course showed still huge ovaries and fluid in my abdomen. The only things they can do to get the fluid off are to (a) let it drain naturally or (b) use what is called a tap (needle in the stomach) I choose (a). I also had a chest X-ray that showed a little fluid in my lungs. I got lots of fluids from the IV and they also began breathing treatments for me. I had great visitors while I had my short stay, Mom and Dad came and visited as did Lori and Adam and of course baby Avery. Lori came back today and spent quite a while with me which was GREATLY appreciated as Terry really needed to get some work done today. It definitely made the day go by faster.

I did not sleep at all last night between hourly trips to the bathroom, blood pressure and temp checks, and my husband SNORING in the bed next to me. Today my stomach had gone down some, I could breath better, and I felt MUCH better. We were finally discharged around 7:00 tonight. I am so glad to be home. I told Terry I am going to press the reset button on my summer when I wake up in the morning. This was not at all how I intended to spend the first week of my summer. Obviously our plans have changed a little, but we are now OK with that. They were able to freeze 10 embryos which is AWESOME!!! Yesterday during my ultrasound the sonographer said, all together now.........."your uterus is beautiful". So even though I've got some crazy stuff going on down there the most important baby grower is still beautiful. We are feeling positive about our Frozen Embryo Transfer. Still nervous but positive. I'm thinking it will be the end of July when we do all of the FET. I will know more about time lines and calendars in the next couple of weeks. I will continue to update. Some may not necessarily be about IVF but I kinda like this blogging thing so I'm going to keep doing it. Thanks for the prayers, they are working because the fluid is going away and that is exactly what we want!!!!

Not so good........

Last night I was extremely bloated and having hard time catching my breath. So much so that Terry wanted to take me to the ER. I was finally able to get into a position that I could breath a little easier and promised him I would call the doctor this morning. Everytime you call my doctor's office you have to leave a message. So I waited for them to call me back. When they called me back they wanted to see me immediately. I called Terry and he met me at the doctor's office. When they called me back they did an ultrasound to find that I do in fact have Hyperstimulation. I have fluid built up in my abdomen and above my liver. My ovaries are so big that they are squishing my uterus. The nurses stuck with me the whole time I was back in their area. Usually it is go in... wait.....wait.... But not today, they were even checking on my while I was giving my urine sample. I knew that this was not good. They took two viles of blood and said they would call when they got the results. Dr. Schnell told me as I was getting my ultrasound that we may have to do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). NOT what I wanted to hear. But that it depended on my blood results. Well about 5:30 the nurse called and said we are a no go for tomorrow. I am full of emotion right now. I am sad, angry, frustrated, mad, and any other word that you can think of that fits that category. It makes it even worse in the fact that everything has gone so well up until now. I feel like we just slammed into a wall. I have about 5 lbs of fluid in my stomach right now and it does not feel good. So on top of an emotional break down I am also a whale. Apparently all of the fluid in my abdomen can affect whether a transfer works or not. I am trusting in Dr. Schnell right now because she knows best and this was her decision. When she was talking to us today it did sound like she was going to put 2 embryos back, so at least we kinda know that now. Hopefully all of the fluid will drain off within this next month and we will be able to do the FET at that time. I will not have to go through as many shots if any this go round because we already have our eggs. They will be freezing them tomorrow and hopefully Todd will call and let us know how many they will freeze. Please pray that this fluid will go away and I will at least be able to sit and breath comfortably soon. Also pray that our little embryos make it through the cryopreservation (freezing) process. You might wanna keep our emotions in your prayers also. Terry is having just as hard of a time with this as I am. Bless his heart, he had to sit at work and think about this all day.

So hopefully in a month we will finally be able to put those tiny little cells back in my body so that I can grow and protect them. Thank you to all that are praying. Please continue to do so as we need all we can get at this time.

Day 3

Well all of our embryos made it through the night. We still have 16 of them. 7 of them are 8 cells and 9 of them are 4 cells. They are still behaving exactly as they should be.8 cells 3day old embryo

Todd also did assisted hatching on them this morning. "Assisted Hatching is a technique that is used to improve the probability of the embryo's implantation. Assisted Hatching involves the Embryologist opening a small hole in the outer membrane known as the zona pellucida of the embryo. This opening improves the ability of the embryo to leave its "shell" and implant into the uterine lining. " www.infertilityivfhouston.com/glossary.htm

Assisted Hatching

We will go in for our transfer on Tuesday at 6:45. Please continue to pray that these little guys will keep progressing as they have so far and that they will implant in my uterus when they should. Terry and I are getting very excited. We already feel like those are our little children. We are worried about them and can't wait to get updates on them. We are still very cautious but excited nonetheless.

My pain continues to reduce but I am still tired. Yesterday we went to my cousin Madi's dance recital, she was the best one up there by the way, and it wore me out. That was the first time I had been out of the house since Thursday. I'm not sure if I should be this tired but they say everyone reacts differently to this procedure. And I do know that anesthesia wears me out.

So that is all for now. I may not have anything to update tomorrow but we will just have to see!!!

WE LOVE YA'LL!!!

Day 2

Quick update on our little ones. 16 of the 18 divided with 7 of them being 4 cells and 9 of them being 2 cells.

This is a 2 cell 2 day old embryo



this is what a 4 cell 2 day old embryo looks like

I asked what the difference was between the 2 and 4 cells he said not to worry about that because sometimes the 2 cells turn out better and vice versa. He said they were all doing great. He also told me that if there was anything wrong he would definitely tell me. So tomorrow they should be between 4 and 8 cells. We will for sure be doing a 5 day transfer so that will take place on Tuesday. He will let me know tomorrow what time that will take place. He will also let us know how they are doing tomorrow but then we won't hear again until we go in to see Dr. Schnell on Tuesday to find out if she is going to put back 1 or 2.

I am feeling better today. Still pretty sore, kinda like I did too many sit-ups. I think my ovaries are still a little swollen because I can still feel them. YUCK!!

That is all for now.

Day 1

I just received a phone call from our baby grower, Todd. He said that 18 of the 23 eggs actually fertilized. YEAH!!!! He said that was REALLY GOOD. I am so excited. Tomorrow they should start dividing and turning into 2 or 4 cell organisms. He did say that with that many actually taking the fertilization that they probably wouldn't all make it, which is fine as long as there are enough for us to put 1 or 2 back. I would also hope that we are able to freeze a few. I will anxiously await the phone call for tomorrow. The prayers are working. Our little ter'em 's (as Patti put it) are growing. So tonight say a prayer that they divide and turn into 2 or 4 cells. Sorry this post isn't very long, but I'm headed back to the couch. I am in much less pain today but I'm still taking it easy.